Hmmmmmm, some interesting stuff in this thread!!
Difficult (impossible?) to give a definitive answer, as there are so many variables. For instance, it's not only about "standards" in playing, but also about "motivation" as well. The reasons for us doing this "Shads" thing are many and varied - from the "Bedroom Guitarist" to the "Full Time Professional". Not everyone wants (or needs) to be the best (however THAT is defined). This "be the best" thing seems to be a fad of the industrial age - perhaps promoted by those (employers, politicians, etc) most likely to benefit from the efforts of others and, frankly, not a concept that I've ever been comfortable with, personally.
Now - all that's NOT to say that I don't want to "do better today than I did yesterday", but for me the point is that the "yardstick" is a personal one. It's ME that I'm "competing" against, not (as "only a Drummer") Buddy Rich, Brian Bennett et al.
I listen to a lot of live music, of a variety of genres, and can't remember EVER coming away from a gig or concert and thinking "that Guitarist/Drummer/Singer wasn't very good!". Sure - there have been some that have been better than others, and there have been times that I've been totally unable to relate to a particular type of music (in my case, Opera is a good example!).
I have no interest in posting sound files, and (sorry, folks!!) hardly ever listen to those posted by others. I'm a Shadows fan, have everything they've ever recorded on CD, so pop a CD into the player when I need to top-up my "Twang" levels!
On the subject of "Confidence", much of what has already been written rings true. It DOES take a large measure of confidence to perform in public - at whatever level - and, in my own case, it's been a lifelong quest for increasing confidence in everything I do. I have JUST as much respect for the struggling Guitarist (or Drummer!) at a Shadows Guitar Club, as I do for The Shadows themselves in some massive Arena - and if that struggling Guitarist chooses to work for months (perhaps without any real signs of improvement) on a single tune, that's fine by me - we are, after all, doing this for FUN, aren't we? I DID like the Gary's comment about "it's the journey, not the destination" and it brought to mind a comment made on the "old" forum to the effect that "Music is an art form, not a competition".
Finally (honest!), on the subject of "criticism" - this is often destructive when presented in the wrong way - an example is "Strictly Come Dancing" etc, when some of the Judges (the "arrogant" ones?) concentrate only on negatives. The management technique in reviewing the performance of others at work is to ALWAYS start by highlighting positives before dealing with negatives.
Regards
Paul


